July 12, 2012 by sshhoobbmmxxbblloogg
she’s a potty mouth, twitter heroine, her shoulder boulders are a sight to behold. but don’t assume she’s just some dumb broad…. Julieanne Smolinski is a writer, agony aunt and one of the coolest chicks i have the pleasure of being able to talk to without being scared of looking like a Limey loser.
1. who are you, and what do you do?
I’m Julieanne Smolinski, alias @boobsradley . I write humor, but not
in a funny way. In the “Frasier” is a psychologist with a wacky
personal life kind of way.
2. cagney or lacey?
I don’t know, because I’ve never really seen the show. I do know that
one of the original leads (either Cagney or Lacey) was replaced for
being too butch after a season. So I’ll go with her. The poor
original, cast-off Cagney or Lacey, who was somehow butcher than what
they ended up with.
3. kevin bacon or actual bacon?
Kevin, all the way. Unless actual bacon had any role in “Tremors.”
4. the huffington post described you as one of the funniest people
online, but whats your favorite joke?
It’s the one about a penguin eating ice cream. I’m sure you can
probably find it if you Google it.
5. you are an “agony aunt” of sorts for MTV Clutch. but, whats the
question in life YOU need answering?
I really need to know when R. Kelly plans to release the next
installment of “Trapped in the Closet.” I joke a lot about this but
it’s actually something I’m invested in, emotionally. I feel like I’ve
waited long enough, you know?
6. on average how many boob related comments / ‘hilarious’ puns do you
7. in a fight between a giant crab and a shark, who wins?
How big is the crab? Are we talking like, daikaiju crab? In that case:
the giant, Japanese monster puppet crab. Otherwise, shark, as they are
designed to kill and crabs are more designed to pinch and walk funny.
8. Have you ever been stumped for a serious reply to a query on your
MTV Clutch page?
Yeah, oh, for sure. I had a really racist question and I didn’t know
whether to use it or to just ignore it. Also sometimes I get questions
that are literally incomprehensible, like they were written from
inside an active industrial clothing dryer.
9. English guys… yay or nay?
YEA. Yes. Pro. Pro English guys. I wholeheartedly approve of you. Carry on.
10. Are there any blogs / writers / twitter-ers(??) that are under the
radar that you wanna big up?
Yeah, sure. This girl @jensdangelo is really amazing and has like 612
followers. My friend @manymanywords is probably one of the funniest
people I’ve met in the past year. I have a really huge crush on @harto
, so follow her too so she notices me and loves me. Also @brandamonium
and @grantpardee , who I just met for the first time and are both
devastatingly handsome, funny men.
11. you hold a dinner party for five people you cannot stand… who
are the quintet of hate, and why?
I don’t hate anybody! Seriously. I
went through a brief phase where I thought it was cool to be a penis
to everybody, but now I have no enemies (that I know of) and it’s very
relaxing, like being in a jacuzzi all the time.
12. what are your plans for the coming twelve months?
I’m traveling a lot. I’m working on a screenplay and a book, which is
slow going because I write all day for work. I’d like to maybe have
some kind of lesbian affair. Learn German. Maybe take a cooking class.
13. As an American…. what IS the point of a Toyota Prius?
Flummoxing British people.
14. have you checked out our website before? is it saved in your
favorites or something you avoid like genital warts?
It’s my FAVORITE genital wart.
15. are you a good kisser?
Say, what kind of interview is this? (Yeah, I’m a great kisser.)
16. first record you bought / stole / forgot to give back to a friend…?
First record I bought with my own money was “Crazy Sexy Cool,” but I’m
pretty sure the first one I stole was my dad’s Queen: GOLD. I wanted
to be Freddie Mercury growing up SO BADLY. I was a very cool, kid. And
I grew up to have the mustache, so, I’m living proof that dreams can